Instead of trying not to get angry, or eliminate anger, we may try switching to healthy anger.
Anger can be provoked by many triggers
eg. When your goal is blocked, when someone threatens your self-esteem/image, someone breaks a personal rule, physical or psychological discomfort (hunger, noise), and a threat to safety to self or a significant other.
Unhealthy anger is disproportionate, punitive, and aimed at intimidation, teaching a lesson or control. It can be transferred to a third party. Lasts for a disproportionate amount of time, is targeted towards the whole person (and often race, religion, nationality, gender, sexuality, etc) and not just the act. It is distressing and physiologically harmful. Associated with irrational thoughts eg. Absolute demandingness, labeling, and intolerance.
On the other hand, Healthy anger is proportionate, corrective, preventive, educative. It is aimed at the same person who has done the mistake/broken the rule and not transferred to a third party. Lasts for sufficient and necessary period of time, is targeted at the act but not the person. Associated with assertion and consideration of the time, setting, and utility of expression. It is not very distressing, nor physiologically harmful. Associated with rational thoughts like strong preferences, acceptance of human beings, and high resilience.
.Is expression of anger healthy? Especially if it's explosive but lasts short periods? All scientists who have studied the issue agree that catharsis is ineffective (Bushman, 1998). Since it acts as a relief of tension, anger expression may be negatively reinforced, and aggression only makes you a ‘well-practiced’ angry person.
Revenge gives rewarding feelings to an angry person, and even in fantasy, it is sought after. Besides this rewarding feeling, anger can have several advantages to the person who holds it or expresses it (which are available with healthy anger too) and this makes anger a difficult emotion to work with for a therapist.
(Some references: Understanding Anger disorders- Raymond DiGuiseppe, Raymond Tafrate, Bushman, B. J., & Baumeister, R. (1998). Threatened egotism, narcissism self-esteem, and direct and misplaced aggression)
Hope I have been able to pen down some helpful insights.
